Beside the Sun of Dusk

She spends a lot of time watching them, for a lot of reasons. She watches so she knows when to spend more time with Angel, or Fred - though they are her friends, too, and being together is more fun than being alone. If it helps them all forget, a little, what they've seen, it's all the more worthwhile.

Perhaps Wesley is right, and they are meant for each other because no one else will understand. Not necessarily romantically - she can't help but laugh when she thinks of herself kissing Angel, or Fred. Dennis, perhaps, she could kiss. If he had lips. She thinks sometimes he kisses her when she falls asleep. She doesn't mind, and when she's truly being honest - which is more and more often these days - she treasures it.

Sometimes she watches Gunn and Wesley and pretends it's her, too.

She also watches because -- who knew -- two cute guys kissing each other? If someone had told her back in high school, she would have forced Xander to hide in the janitor's closet with her and whomever she could find - Angel, or Oz, or maybe a new guy each week. She's pretty sure Xander would have done it because at that point in their lives, they would have done anything for each other.

Kind of like now, only for other people. Cordelia would do anything for her friends, even learn to talk about physics and hold her voice and heartbeat steady when she tells Angel she will kill him one day. Anything to help them not hurt so much when two of their number who need it as badly as any of them, enjoy what they all want.

If they mess this up, she will royally chew them out. Wes and Gunn are too happy, these days, and if they hurt each other it will hurt them *all* more than just missing out on being in love, too.


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