Sacrifice

The book is here...and the translation." Giles held out a book, and Xander took it, glancing at the text only briefly before looking at the sheet of notebook paper on the opposite page. The original meant nothing -- he didn't even know if it was a human language or not.

He read the English translation, which Giles had, repeatedly, assured him had been translated several times and was exceedingly accurate. As he read it through, he understood why Giles had reassured him so many times.

He also understood why Giles had asked him here, at night, without Buffy or Willow. His brain refused to accept that he really *meant* it, though.

"This says...." He looked up at Giles. They were standing just inside the door of Giles' apartment. Giles had asked him over, and met him in the entryway with the book. And now Xander was trying to understand what this translation had to do with *him*.

Because there was no way Giles could mean....

"Yes," Giles said. "And...I'm sorry." He sounded like he meant it, too. Xander started to relax, because that tone of voice from Giles had always meant that, really, things would be taken care of somehow.

Only this time -- "It says a male youth."

"It does," Giles agreed.

"A virgin." And how many times since Miss French the bug lady, had he regretted being a virgin?

"It does," Giles nodded. He had his hands in his pockets, and Xander suddenly noticed that he was dressed normally. Slacks, sweater, all casual as though maybe he wasn't getting ready to do a spell to prevent demons from invading California and destroying everything in their path. Or maybe it was just Sunnydale. Xander couldn't remember that far back.

His brain was still stuck on "virgin sacrifice".

"And you want me here because...?" Maybe he had to hold the candles, or help with the chanting, or maybe he was just here to be witness so he could tell the others tomorrow that the world was saved.

"I'm sorry, Xander. There was no one else I dared ask."

He stood there, and actually managed to think about what Giles was saying. Actually engaged brain cells and thought about it logically, calmly, and as though they weren't really talking about it really, honestly happening.

He was surprised at how scared he was. "I really have to...?"

"It will be quick, and as painless as I can possibly make it," Giles said, and he'd stepped closer somehow and was looking at him, glasses gone while Xander wasn't paying attention. Xander could see his eyes, clearly, and he wasn't sure he knew what it was he saw in them.

"I can't... say no, can I?" Because this was for real. Demons required a sacrifice, and magic demanded its price. He swallowed, looked down at the book, and asked in a shaking voice, "What do I do?"

Giles took the book away, and took Xander by the hand, leading him into the living room. He saw now that the floor had been cleared, and designs had been drawn on the floor with chalk. Giles was prepared. He'd known Xander would say yes -- or maybe he'd meant to do this anyhow, regardless of what he'd said.

Xander swallowed again, and wanted to say something but he couldn't think of a single word.

He said nothing as Giles nudged him, directed him to undress. It was like gym class, he told himself. Stripping with somebody else in the room. Stripping with someone watching you, and he had to force himself not to put his hands over his crotch.

He jumped when Giles touched his face, fingers briefly on his cheek and he turned to see Giles looking at him with that same something in his eyes.

"Kneel here," Giles said, pointing at a spot. "On your hands and knees."

And that was the whole of it, wasn't it? Xander got into position, and his brain started screaming at him. This was really happening. It was really....

Candles flared into life, and a moment later there was a whiff of incense. He didn't know what it was, but it was nice, and any other time in his life he would have been glad to smell it.

He waited, growing cold without any clothes on and he was wishing he could move and didn't know if he were allowed. He jumped again when Giles touched his back -- Giles' hand was warm, and large, and Xander tried not to make any noise.

"I'll be very gentle," Giles promised. "I'd tell you to relax, but I doubt you'll be able to at first. But... it'll be all right, Xander. I'll make it as easy and as good as I can."

He wanted to ask how the hell Giles planned to do that, when he felt Giles kiss the middle of his back. Again almost jumping out of his skin, but then Giles kissed him a second time and he was more confused than anything.

The translation had said a virgin must be sacrificed. Lose his virginity -- allow himself to be fucked, and his ejaculate would spill onto the symbols and make the magic strong enough to keep the demons from breaking free. And here Giles was touching him, kissing his back and stroking his sides like he was doing this because they'd finally got up the nerve to try it.

He was about to ask what Giles was doing, when he felt a hand on his cock. He couldn't hold back his yelp, and he heard Giles saying something, in a soft, gentle tone he'd never heard before. Giles began pulling at his cock, and somehow, despite all belief to the contrary, Xander began to grow hard.

He wanted to push Giles away and run -- because otherwise he was going to forget himself. He was going to forget that he wasn't supposed to have wondered what this would be like. He'd forget that he had ever wondered what Giles' mouth would taste like, or what it would feel like to have someone wrap around him the way Giles was shifting to do.

He was going to come, and Giles was going to know -- and he tried to tell himself that was the entire *point*. He was supposed to like it, supposed to come or the spell wouldn't work. But his brain had been listening to other messages for too long that he couldn't just let himself think about the hand on his cock, rubbing up and down, and the other hand caressing his back.

"That's it, Xander. That's good," Giles said softly, and Xander nearly asked him if he were being graded. But he didn't trust himself to speak, didn't trust himself to make jokes so he just dropped his head and he let Giles do what it was he had to do.

He yelped again when Giles touched his asshole. Warm, and slick, he realised even as he realised Giles had slid the finger *inside* him. His brain was screaming, and he wasn't sure if he were saying 'ohgodohgodohgod' out loud or if he'd stopped breathing entirely. Giles' finger was *inside* him, and this was what they meant when they said "fucked" and he realised that he was moving, back and forth, pushing himself onto Giles' finger even more.

Xander tried to make himself stop. Giles was still rubbing his cock, and he was harder than he'd ever been in his life. It ached, and his ass felt like... like... he had no idea. All he could feel was his ass and his cock, and he didn't know if this was what it was supposed to feel like. He didn't know how to ask without sounding really stupid because Giles was touching him, touching his cock and he had his finger inside Xander's ass, and how could he answer questions when he was doing that?

Giles removed his finger, and Xander heard himself moan. He clamped down, holding his jaw tightly shut. Tried to hold himself still but Giles was touching him again and this time he was pushing what felt like two fingers inside.

"That's too much," he said, gasping and trying to move away.

"Relax," Giles said, not moving his fingers out.

"That's too much," he said again. He didn't know how he was expected to come like this -- it was uncomfortable, and as much as his cock was enjoying its part, the rest of him just wanted it to go back. Go back to one finger, and the rubbing, and give him two more seconds and he could come with no trouble.

"Tighten around my fingers, then relax," Giles instructed.

"What?"

"Tighten your muscles around my fingers, then let go."

Xander tried it, feeling like...like nothing like sex was supposed to feel like. But sex wasn't supposed to involved being on his hands and knees with some guy sticking fingers inside. Except it sometimes did, in his head where he was pretty sure no one was supposed to be able to see.

He realised that it felt a little better. "Huh."

Giles chuckled, then fell silent again. He began to move his fingers, and Xander wasn't convinced this really was such a great idea -- but it wasn't like he could change his mind. Maybe, if Giles would let him jerk off, he could come without anything more and that would be enough.

He wanted to say so, but it was hard to breathe. He tried to inhale and it made him feel his ass, feel the fingers inside him and he lost his breath, exhaling and trying to shift away. Giles held him still, the hand on his cock letting go and resting on his hip. Nothing he couldn't break away from, but enough to remind him why he shouldn't move.

Xander wanted to know if it was too late to change his mind. He'd give up gay fantasies and daydreaming about kissing Larry or being fucked by Giles, and he would date Cordelia and make out in her car and be normal like American teenagers were supposed to be.

Giles was moving his fingers in and out of his ass. It was tight, but he was starting to get used to it. Giles was kissing his back again, and the feel of his lips was enough that Xander thought he might be able to forget all the rest of it. He wanted to ask Giles to kiss him some more, and maybe he could ask if that was all they could do, and Xander could probably come from that, as well.

Then the fingers slipped away again, and Xander tensed. Giles closed his hand more tightly around Xander's cock and began jerking him slow, and hard. Tugging him like Xander had never been able to do, no matter how often he'd been able to risk it. Alone in his bed, knowing he could wash his sheets tomorrow with his mom never being the wiser, he'd brought himself off any number of times -- but never like this.

Maybe Giles just had more experience, he thought, and he nearly laughed.

He was moving again, back and forth, rocking on his hands and knees with the rhythm of Giles' hand. This was good, now, and though his knees hurt and he was still cold, he could do this no problem. He could come, like this, and he'd be embarrassed as hell later about it but right now, right now was good and he could do this and--

"Oh god!"

Giles was fucking him. There was a cock in his ass, and it was pressing deeper inside him, and it was *Giles* and Xander wanted to scream and he wanted to pull away and Giles was *fucking* him and his cock was so hard it ached; he wanted to slam himself back but he couldn't move, because god, it hurt and there was a *cock* in his *ass* and someone was telling him to breathe.

"Come on, Xander. Relax...breathe...."

Giles' hand was still on him, but Xander didn't think he could feel his cock anymore. He was just his ass, and it was like being pulled apart snd filled up and he could feel it in the back of his throat and Giles moved again, deeper.

"Oh god, oh god, oh god." Xander wasn't sure he could hold himself up anymore. His arms were shaking and he was going to collapse and ruin the chalk marks and they'd have to do this all over again only they couldn't because he wouldn't be a virgin.

Giles slid out, and thank god, because he could breathe again. Xander inhaled deeply, and started to ask him what he was going to do and Giles was sliding inside him. It went more easily this time, and Xander could feel the difference even before Giles told him again to squeeze down, and relax.

When he tried it this time, he heard Giles gasp and shove himself a little deeper into Xander's ass. Xander realised what he was doing, and thought about how it felt when he got his fist around his cock and squeezed tight, and he tried it again.

"Xander," Giles moaned. "I can't...." He stopped, and suddenly the hand on Xander's cock was moving faster.

This time he didn't stop. Giles kept jerking him off, and he thrust into Xander without ever pulling out all the way. For a moment, Xander thought he might have to start daydreaming again -- swimsuit models in bed with him usually did it.

Then Giles hit something, and his cock jumped, and his body was trying to explode. Xander shoved himself backwards, and to hell with being too much and too tight and it not quite hurting and him not quite ready for this. Giles fucked him again, in just the same way, and Xander shouted as he came, spilling his seed all over Giles' hand, and the floor, and the chalk-drawn symbols they'd been doing this for. The explosion of light and smoke was almost like an after-thought, but Xander was relieved to see that in fact *something* had happened as a result.

His hips were still moving of their own accord, which didn't surprise him. But the way Giles was fucking him did, and the sounds Giles was making sounded a hell of a lot like Xander when he came, and then he *was* and he was coming inside Xander, and he was no longer in control of *any* of this.

Xander held completely still except for his cock and his hips, and listened. Felt Giles, coming in him.

He felt Giles lean forward, and Xander felt the rough touch of cotton. He turned his head, looking over his shoulder for the first time since he'd knelt down. Giles was still dressed, had in fact only opened his trousers to fuck him. Xander was completely naked before him, and Giles was still fully dressed but for his cock.

Xander shivered, and he didn't stop looking as Giles pulled away. Giles didn't look at him, reaching over for a towel which he handed to Xander. Then he stood, taking another towel for himself, and wiped his hands before rearranging his clothes.

Moving back onto his heels, Xander wiped off his cock, then his ass. He dropped it near the symbol, but carefully not on it just in case, and stood up, head down and staring at the floor.

Now he could die of embarrassment. Or maybe just get dressed and escape and they could play British stoicism and never speak of it again.

"When are you due home?" Giles asked, surprising him.

"I... no time. When you told me to be here, I thought... didn't know how long I'd be here. So I told my parents I was at a friends' house and would be back whenever."

"Would you... care to take a shower?"

The solicitousness of it make Xander want to refuse. He had no idea why, but he was sticky and his hands and knees were chalky, and he didn't have any other clothes to put on. Coming home blood-stained was one thing. Coming home in clothes that smelled like sex would be trouble.

"Sure." He stepped away, to head for the bathroom.

"Xander."

He stopped, but didn't look up. He heard Giles walk over, then he was there in front of him and Xander had to raise his head.

He wasn't prepared for Giles to kiss him. And he wasn't prepared for Giles to wrap his arms around him, and hold him close.

He was getting Giles' clothes dirty, he knew. But he closed his eyes and stayed where he was, and it didn't seem to matter that he was naked.