He waited in the practise room for his Master. Obi-Wan had left his robe on a hook by the door, and considered the usual practise of removing his tunic for the drills and sparring. He'd finally decided to leave it on -- hoping his Master would as well, subconsciously taking Obi-Wan's lead.
Obi-Wan had no desire to spend an hour or two ignoring his lust for a man while facing him, half-naked. Rather, the problem was he had a very great desire to do so, and it was interfering with... everything. Obi-Wan sighed. Things were not getting any better.
He looked up as his Master walked in, and bowed to him.
"Padawan," Qui-Gon greeted him, and hung up his own robe -- leaving his tunic on, thankfully. He moved immediately to a spot opposite Obi-Wan, several feet away, and took up a ready stance. His hand was no-where near his saber, at least so it appeared to the untrained eye. A Jedi would know Qui-Gon would have his saber out in an instant.
As soon as Obi-Wan was ready, he would draw his saber, and the sparring would begin. He stood ready, calming himself as best he could in preparation. As he watched his Master, he saw the man he loved, the man he needed so desperately.
Obi-Wan wanted to groan in frustration. This distraction was not good. He could never fight, never train with these feelings pulling at him so hard. He fought them down, but that proved even worse a distraction.
His Master waited, still patiently. There was no set time for the fight to begin -- in real life, it could be seconds or hours before one combatant decided to strike. Obi-Wan had drilled before, in fact, where they had stood all day, waiting for the right time.
He didn't want to stand here all day, but neither would he begin while his thoughts were in such turmoil. He sought the control to push them away, and failed, yet again.
Taking a deep breath, he tried to remember anything that would help. Thoughts of snow, of Master Turglia stripped to the waist, of annual audits by the Republic. Anything to distract him from wanting to cross the room and place his hand on Qui-Gon's chest.
A Jedi was not ruled by such desires. They were not ruled by any desires, darn it. They were... Obi-Wan followed that train of thought, repeating it to himself. The teaching was, "Jedi are not ruled by desires."
It did not teach that Jedi had no desires. It did not say they were not to act on their desires.
It said they were not ruled.
So what, then, did that mean for him? If he felt this love, this physical need for his Master... the only wrong to come of it would be to allow himself to be driven by it. As he had done so, these past weeks. Driven to avoid, hide, or act upon it, he had been so focused on his feelings that they had lead him, rather than been acknowledged and left to be met or not, without rule.
Obi-Wan looked up at his Master, now, feeling suddenly clear-headed. As if weights had been stricken from his legs, he felt as if he could finally walk without dragging them behind.
"Padawan?" Qui-Gon asked, in a gentle tone.
Obi-Wan smiled, and walked forward. Qui-Gon simply waited, obviously knowing this was not presage to the spar. Obi-Wan stopped in front of him, wanting to laugh and not entirely sure why.
"I've learned a lesson, Master," he began.
Qui-Gon smiled at him. "And what have you learned?" His tone was dry, as if only interested in the academics, but Obi-Wan could see the light in his eyes.
"I have learned to let go."
"Have you indeed?"
Obi-Wan couldn't tell if Qui-Gon knew exactly to what he was referring, but his mood was obviously... obvious, for his Master was still smiling, and sounded approving of his having learned something so important. He nodded. "I'm only sorry it took me this long."
"Don't regret a lesson learned, Padawan," his Master said. "Sometimes it takes years. Or lifetimes."
Still standing only inches away, Obi-Wan nodded. He should be glad he didn't have to moon over his Master for the rest of his life.
But this lesson didn't tell him what, if anything, he should do. It only told him he could.
Obi-Wan tilted his head slightly, considering for only a moment what his master would do. Probably accept it, in that balanced, calm way every Jedi Master seemed to have.
He leaned closer, and reached up, grabbing onto his Master's tunic. A very good thing he'd left it on, as Obi-Wan was able to pull him down, to Obi-Wan's own level. He kissed him then, only briefly astonished at his own bravado.
It said much of his new-found stability, that he was not so astonished when Qui-Gon allowed the kiss, nor that he was the first to open his mouth to deepen it.
Obi-Wan wrapped a hand around Qui-Gon's arm, holding them both steady as he pressed himself in closer, daring -- finally -- to touch his Master as closely as he'd dreamed.
Nearly as close. The clothing between them was still... between them. But Obi-Wan could feel that it would not last. Not with the way his Master was holding him close, keeping their bodies in contact as they continued to kiss.
Obi-Wan felt a hand at his waist, and his erection suddenly sprung into full hardness. He moaned, back in his throat and into the mouth still capturing his. The hand moved again, and his thrust his hips after it, hoping for something he couldn't yet name.
Couldn't, because his tongue was being sucked ever so gently out of his mouth.
He tugged at Qui-Gon's tunic, then, instead, and was pleased to find it falling away easily. His hands were on skin, then, and he found himself touching and exploring everything he'd seen a million times. Breaking away from the kiss, he stared at the freedom he'd gained with a simple point of view. Reality was all point of view, he realised, as he leaned forward to lay a kiss in a chest he'd thought forbidden to desire, much less touch.
He felt a shiver as he kissed Qui-Gon again, right above the breastbone. Glancing up, he smiled slyly, and began inching his way down, following the shivers as indicators.
Qui-Gon gasped as Obi-Wan went to his knees, still laying kisses and shedding clothing as he went. A hand lighted in his head, briefly tugging at him then the pressure fell away, leaving him to his own devices.
Bared before him, Qui-Gon's erection teased him, moving slightly as Qui-Gon strained to remain standing. It was growing difficult, Obi-Wan knew -- he drew his fingertip down the length of Qui-Gon's cock again, seeing the tension on Qui-Gon's legs as he fought for balance. He wondered if he should take pity on his Master.
Glancing up, he found Qui-Gon looking down at him, an expression on his face so completely unexpected and sincere, that Obi-Wan could barely breathe.
He swallowed, with some difficulty, and whispered, "I love you."
Qui-Gon's face broke into a smile. "I love you, Obi-Wan. But I shall be frustrated if you choose to remain kneeling there, watching me."
Obi-Wan grinned, remembering the lesson which had brought him here. "But you shall not complain, will you? If I stand up and say I've changed my mind...." He stood up, moving back as if to do just that very thing.
Qui-Gon growled softly, and stepped forward, taking Obi-Wan's arms and pulling him back, kissing him again with unmistakable hunger. Obi-Wan felt his own legs losing balance, as he realised only a thin layer of cloth was yet between them. He scrabbled to be rid of it, finding some unexpected help along the way as his pants seemed to remove themselves.
Then he was being pushed back, and his legs gave out as he felt the first touch of skin-on-skin. Qui-Gon eased them down to the floor, and as Obi-Wan laid back Qui-Gon followed, lying above him. Obi-Wan whimpered and raised one leg to wrap around Qui-Gon's waist, pulling his Master's weight down on top of himself.
Qui-Gon buried his head against his neck, biting him even as Obi-Wan thrust his hips upwards, driving their cocks together. He felt Qui-Gon's growl, felt the tightening of the hands on either side of his head, and he thrust again. He tried to raise his other leg to gain more purchase, but Qui-Gon was lying on top of it, holding him down. He shivered, then, with the sudden awareness of where he was. Holding on even tighter, Obi-Wan tried to push himself up, pull Qui-Gon down, despite the lack of any remaining space between them.
But they were moving, at least; moving back and forth even as they tried for other touches, kisses and caresses left behind as they rubbed their cocks, and their entire bodies, together. Obi-Wan screamed once, and felt his body tense. His Master gathered him close, holding Obi-Wan's head in his hands as the orgasm grabbed him suddenly, unexpectedly throwing him into awareness of nothing but his body.
Then even that was gone, and blackness swirled around him for an instant. With a single breath he was back, lying shaking on the floor pinned beneath his Master. Qui-Gon, for his part, was still breathing harshly, still moving desperately. Obi-Wan leaned up and licked a post on his neck, biting just where Qui-Gon had bitten him.
With a nearly silent cry, Qui-Gon froze. Obi-Wan could feel the strain crashing around him, and reached his arms around his Master's body, holding him tightly as he let completely go.
Qui-Gon cried out once, then came with a violence that misspoke the love Obi-Wan had seen on his Master's face, before. Obi-Wan rubbed a hand along Qui-Gon's back, soothing and murmuring soft things he barely thought out before saying. He laid more kisses along Qui-Gon's chest, and shoulder, then eased Qui-Gon down to lie on top of him again. Qui-Gon collapsed, limp and panting heavily.
Then he smiled. "Obi-Wan...."
Obi-Wan smiled, surprised, but he did not ask for explanations. He grinned wider as Qui-Gon wrapped himself around him, cuddling him close.
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