Obi-Wan lowered his head, feeling defeated. He'd come here expecting.... Well, he wasn't sure what he'd been expecting. Answers, for sure. Advice. Sympathy?
Something other than 'let your feelings go'.
He wasn't sure if he'd rather the Jedi Master had told him to speak of his feelings to his Master, or simply accept them and say nothing. Well, he'd been trying the latter and it hadn't been working, so it was no real surprise Yoda hadn't suggested it.
Perhaps, though, Yoda was right. He'd seen this before... he knew what was likely to happen. Padawans probably fell in love with their masters all the time. Often enough in the last 800 years, at least. Whether from experience or reading the Force, Master Yoda probably did know....
Obi-Wan took a deep breath. "Thank you for your counsel, Master Yoda."
The Jedi Master nodded. "Peace, you still have not. Patience, Padawan. It will come."
Obi-Wan couldn't say anything to that. At the moment he felt as if his world had been cut in two -- his heart on one side, and his future on the other. He had to chose one, and Yoda was telling him to follow his future. He rose slowly, gave Master Yoda a respectful bow with a grace that belied his shock, and then turned and left the room.
He wandered the hallways, back the way he'd come. Without conscious decision, he found himself heading back towards the meditation rooms he'd been using earlier. He wondered if he should head elsewhere, but realised that he needed some time, even if his meditation failed again. Time to absorb Yoda's advice, and time to accept it.
He found the room empty and quickly folded himself into a comfortable, seated position. He held his hands in front of his body, pressed together as if in supplication. Chanting softly, he used one of the oldest, earliest-taught meditations to try to give his mind something to focus on... before he lost control.
Breathe in, breathe out. Focus. Breathe in. Breathe out.
Obi-Wan felt himself detaching. His thoughts began to quiet, and with them, his panic.
His feelings did not fade. If anything, once his mind began to focus he began to be more aware of them. Just his emotions, for once without words or worries shaping them.
He loved his Master. Wholy, fully, completely. As completely as he had loved anyone, anything. He couldn't imagine it ever failing, ever fading away. Though Master Yoda had said it would -- he hadn't said when, or how it would feel before it did.
But if it did, then Obi-Wan... what? He let the thoughts die again, not wanting to know their course. The feelings surged, and he was wrapped in the warmth and contentment he'd felt since the moment his Master had called him 'Padawan'. An old, familiar feeling, only recently coloured by the stronger, roiling desires he had been unable to accept.
If they were going to fade, as Master Yoda said... Obi-Wan suddenly realised he no longer had to be afraid of them. And with that thought, he realised he had been. Afraid of embarrassment, but more afraid of rejection. Even afraid of acceptance, and the changes it would mean. But this, this accepting his feelings and knowing they would go -- he found himself shuddering a long breath, and he bowed his head.
With the feelings of love, came sorrow.
Obi-Wan leaves the meditation room.
Obi-Wan remains there to meditate further.