John Finds Out

John stumbled towards the kitchen, thinking of turning and going back to bed -- sleep off this hangover, and god if he could just remember how much he'd had to drink last night. Maybe he didn't want to know -- and he was grateful that he couldn't remember why he'd been drinking. The only thing in his head right now was pounding and a desire for water, or possibly for a silver bullet to the brain.

He navigated his way with his eyes barely open, trusting instinct to guide him. It worked well enough, stumbling only once through a door that lead towards a backyard that he didn't recognise. Then he found the kitchen and the blessed smell of coffee and his two boys kissing each other.

John blinked.

Coffee, check. Dean, Sam. Check. Swallowing each other's tongues.

Not so check.

He rubbed one hand over his eyes, looked again. Coffee, boys, kissing.

"What the fuck--" OK, bad choice of words, he told himself. He tried again. "The hell is going on here?"

His boys slowly drew apart -- mouths only, they didn't untangle themselves from where Dean was pressing Sam against the kitchen counter like they'd been glued there. John stared at them, confused and outraged and... confused as Dean and Sam just looked at him.

Then Dean frowned. He pulled away from Sam and walked over, looking cautious. He glanced into John's eyes as if looking for... signs of possession? Drunkeness? His boy frowned and asked slowly, "What's the last thing you remember?"

John scowled. "I remember that you and Sam are brothers and you don't fucking--" Right, use something else... crap, fuck, dammit, nothing was coming to mind.

But Dean was sighing, and looking back at Sam. Sam pushed himself away from the counter and walked over, looking John directly in the eye. he took a deep breath, then said, "OK, Jeff, seriously -- if you ever mix tequila and cheap vodka again, Jensen and I are going to kidnap Bisou and trade her for a turtle."

Dean gave Sam a startled look. "Man, that's a bit harsh, don't you think? Can't we keep Bisou and just give Jeff a turtle?"

Sam bit his lip for a moment, then nodded, and John decided that he remembered why exactly he'd been drinking last night. He rubbed his face again, thought about going back to bed, and realised that was the best idea he'd had in his entire fucking life.

He sighed. "If you too ever decide to break up and get married again, I'm going to run away to Madras, India, and I am not throwing you another bachelor party."

Then he turned around and shuffled back towards his bed, stopping at the living room to collect Bisou out from the pile with Jared's two dogs.

Just in case.

the end